Good Beginnings

Coming into foster care as a parent is a huge transition, whether you are a teenager or an older parent who has been living independently. How we welcome parents, acknowledge their feelings, and set a tone of non-judgemental support is critical for them developing trust in us and belief in themselves.

Ideas for a warm welcome

One thing which parents say makes it easier is meeting the foster carer before moving in, especially if they can visit the foster home. Sometimes there won’t be time for this, and for most parents interviewed, the first time they met the foster carer was when they moved in. However, where it is possible, we recommend it as best practice; even if a mother is coming from hospital, just popping in to introduce yourself the day or morning before makes a huge difference.

Here are some practical ideas from foster carers on ways to get the placement off to a good start. Things to provide:

• Details of how to access the internet in your home
• A welcome basket with items for both mother and baby
• A baby gift or voucher for the baby
• A pretty memory box with a small photo album and milestone cards
• A list of local facilities — shops, chemist, doctor, dentist, hospital, leisure centre (the parent may be from another area)
• A bus timetable
• Leaflets from the local children’s centre or parent and baby groups
• A copy of ‘I’m only a baby but…’ by Child Accident Prevention Trust

The placement planning meeting

The placement planning meeting is about everyone involved in the care of the parent and child being on the same page. What is this placement for and how will that be achieved? It should take place within three days of the parent moving in, and for convenience, will probably take place at your house.

As well as you and the parent, the following people will be invited: your supervising social worker, the child’s social worker and/or the parent’s social worker if the parent is also a child, and other professionals like the health visitor, midwife, or leaving care worker. That’s a lot of people and the parent may feel very overwhelmed and struggle to speak up and ask questions.

Talking with her before the meeting and writing down her questions will ensure she doesn’t forget anything. The language in the meeting should be accessible to her. Professionals can often get into abbreviations or ‘jargonese’ and you may need to ask that things are explained in plain English, especially if English is not her first language or she has a learning disability.

Important questions and considerations for foster carers

• Child care and babysitting: Will the parent be responsible for all the child’s care, or will you give them ‘time off’?
• House rules: Be clear about negotiable and non-negotiable rules from the beginning.
• Laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning: Who is responsible for what? You may decide on a settling-in period before the parent takes more responsibility.
• Smoking: If the parent is a smoker, how will you facilitate this safely?
• Contact arrangements: Who is the parent in contact with and are there any court restrictions? Who will supervise contact?
• Money: What financial support does the parent have, and what are they responsible for buying?
• Parenting assessment: Who will do it, how long will it take, and how will the parent receive feedback?
• Risk: Is there anything in the parent’s history which poses a risk to the baby or your own family? Has a risk assessment been done?
• Legal status: What is the legal status of the fostering arrangement? Are both parent and child looked after, just the child, just the parent, or neither?

Lack of clarity about roles and responsibilities is a significant factor when things have gone wrong. — Adams P. and Dibben, E. (2011) Parent and Child Fostering Good Practice Guide