Supporting Parents from Abusive Relationships

Risks to Women and Children

84% of victims of domestic abuse are female. On average, every week in England and Wales, 2 women are killed by their partner or ex-partner and around 3 women commit suicide as a result of domestic abuse. Pregnancy is a risk factor for domestic abuse — 20% of women in the support organisation Refuge’s services are pregnant or have recently given birth.

Domestic abuse during pregnancy puts both a pregnant woman and her unborn child in danger, increasing the risk of miscarriage, infection, premature birth, low birth weight and stillbirth. Men abuse their partners because they believe they have the right to do so. Their controlling behaviour makes it very difficult for women to leave the relationship, and sometimes to recognise that the abusive behaviour is not normal.

Domestic Abuse and PAC Foster Care

Mothers we care for may have come from an abusive relationship which is seen to present significant harm to her child. She may have been given the choice of coming to foster care or having her child removed, or she may have asked for help to get away from her partner. Normally a pregnant woman or mother seeking help would be supported to find a place in a women’s refuge, so mothers placed in foster care will usually have more complex needs.

How can we help? Getting away from the perpetrator of domestic abuse is an important step to keeping a mother and baby safe. Understanding why men abuse women and why women stay in these relationships will not happen by itself.

The Freedom Programme is a domestic violence programme which examines the roles played by attitudes and beliefs on the actions of abusive men and the responses of victims and survivors. The aim is to help them to make sense of and understand what has happened to them. You will need to ask locally to find out what is available in your area.

VOICE (Victims Of Intimate Coercive Experience) is a psycho-educational programme looking at domestic abuse through an intersectional lens, supporting victims to understand their own trauma and responses.

Safe Care for Yourself and Your Family

If the mother is coming from an abusive relationship, you should have as much information as you can about the perpetrator to keep you and your household safe. Ask for a photo or physical description. Part of the agreement should be that the woman does not disclose your address to anyone.

Effect of Domestic Abuse on Children

Children living in a home with a domestic abuser are also at risk. Though some children are unusually resilient, for most, the constant stress of witnessing an abusive relationship puts children at risk of a range of physical, mental and behavioural problems, including withdrawal, aggression, problems in school, nightmares, anxiety, depression, and eating disorders.